Tuesday, April 20, 2010

When He Leads

It's really funny to say this, but I've never felt God so much in my life leading me where He wants me to go, meeting people He wants me to meet, than now.

Today was another one of those days where I went to the Lowertown Arts District to basically get out of the house and get coffee. I'd totally forgotten that it was the start of Quilters week (Oh man.. my sea of people phobia is already twitching in sympathy for locals), but this led to the fact that A LOT of galleries were open.

Coffee in hand, I decided--yet again, on a whim--to leave Cas (my car, the trooper that he is) behind and have a stroll around the few blocks I'd grown to be vaguely familiar with to see if anyone new was open.

The studio space I'd been in temporary negotiations over was open, and I'll admit I was initially skiddish standing on the corner of the block staring at the Open flag as I debated popping in. Thoughts of awkward 'Hi, I was the ceramicist that didn't get the space. :D' scenarios swam through my head... mostly because while I'm actually glad I didn't get it, I didn't know if they'd think I was a spiteful little hoodlum. (I'm not, I really just like meeting everybody!) But, I felt pulled to go, so I sucked it up and wandered along to see what was what.

I got to meet Gretchen Smith, a fellow Christian artist, and we had a PHENOMENAL conversation. She was a wealth of information, who bluntly and truthfully told me what I'd been wanting to hear about the business side of being an artist for months now. It was a very real, down-to-earth talk that I am so thankful I got to have, because it's helped reaffirm my want and need to be realistic about this lifestyle choice. It was also great to finally openly connect with another Christian artist. One of the things that upset me about Murray was I often felt that Christianity as a whole in the department was looked down upon as a close-minded and even ignorant mindset to be in. It hurt, a lot. And I let myself close up about it to get through. I regret it not really being shown until I started working on my senior thesis show, but at the same time, what better way to show them? It's a struggle I feel that's finally over, I've a bit more backbone now, so hopefully I can continue this line of art with its spirituality.

It also brought up further understanding of my growing compulsion to expand my abilities further into more craft-but-art aspects such as the business of soaps, oils, and so forth. I think in a way, I'm being told I can do both, and it wouldn't be too much like if I worked a regular weekly job and then had to scrounge the time to build up the will to work in the studio.

It's quite the opposite.

I had the revelation that this draw toward pulling things from nature to create things we could use to take care of ourselves is my wanting to reconnect to nature, and through that, connect further to God, who provided it for us. And I want people to be able to be supplied for and reconnected in the same way. Is it the start of a witness? I'm not sure. But artistically, it coincides with my sculptures' yearning for connection and understanding, so maybe so.

I've had people having to sit through me standing in front of candles and incense sections pulling from different areas to create scent bouquets for rooms, and its that scent combination trait that I love about oil perfumes and the like. They have the ability to strike chords in people through memory almost--if not just as strong as, a piece of art, and a part of me believes that this ability to create something is just as much an artform as my throwing out slabs of clay and building body parts.

So can the two interact and become some means of conglomerate function? I hope so. I think I'm being told it can be.

Either way, I've had a very rewarding day, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Good God, Ya'll.

Since my random spam of entries, I've been in a sort of tizzy.

I wanted to post pics of some artists I found of influence to me a few weeks ago, but the blog ate my post, and the will to redo such after going through the hunt for images and loading them up here sapped my want to spend another hour regurgitating my efforts.

Then I got distracted with life.

(C'est la vie, non?)

Anyway.

I think post-graduation time has been good for me as far as getting to deal with the whole 'You got an art degree, are you serious about what you want to do with it?' choice we all have to go through. I've found that, yes, what I wan to do, and see myself doing to live a fulfilled life is to make things. LOTS of things... actually... I want to continue to make my art, and have the freedom to do so, but I also want to be able to suppliment this need by also making other things that interest me like jewellry, soap, essential oils, salves and so forth. I've been interested in scent and the way it ties to our memories so profoundly for years, and added to equal interest in scent plays of multiple strands and nature... myeah.

I'm thinking it's all pooling together from the deep roots I have here in The Hill. I keep pulling at it for resources in the clay, the environment in which I want to make my sculptures (very excited about revisiting the creek and building bodies in there, oh man), the flowers I'm drying out to make jewellry out of and to incorporate into my work as reliquary items, everything.

And with the economy in the shithole, if you can't find a job, why don't you just make one for yourself and be your own boss?? Mom's said she always wanted to own her own business, and I think if we really wanted to do it, we could. Locally maybe not so much (sorry Eddyvegas, but you are friggin' tiny and hardly any small business that starts there that doesn't involve food or tourism tends to wither and die), but the internet is an untapped source of possible buyers.

I fear I sound naive, and odds are I am, but I feel good about this prospect, and the idea that it could make other people happy in turn.

I also think talking to artists in the Lowertown Arts District has helped nudged me into this path a bit as well. It really is a lot of fun getting to meet them. I'm planning on getting coffee and swinging through there tomorrow or Wednesday, since I need to look for spray-on resin for some of the flowers if the brushed on method turns out to be a disaster.

We're working on getting together a building to be in the yard that would act as my studio, and my fingers are getting twitchy at the concept of being able to crank out some body parts.

Until then, I've started looking at some of the shows I get notices about taking entries for juried exhibition.

Be fearless, be fearless, be fearless!!

I'm excited.

I kind of feel like that kid standing on the side of the pool wiggling her toes as she prepares to attempt her first dive.

Wish me luck.

Cheers.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Artist Statement for Agrestic BFA show

Artist’s Statement
We are impermanent. We are surrounded by constant change, and left with the remnants of what was and used to be. I was made aware of this at a young age with the death of my father’s father, and have spent several years of my college experience faced with that fact again, and again with more losses of those I’ve admired and loved deeply. My work revolves around, and tries to analyze the state of our condition in such impermanence. I’ve always been drawn to subjects like fossils, mummies, and the ideas they brought forth of mortality, as well as our timeless strive to overcome it. In a way, they are a record. In a way, despite our impermanence, they surpass time.
I create portions of the female figure in an identification of self—creating a personal connection between the pieces and myself, often building up the entire form whole, and then tearing away portions of it. My work is a constant juxtaposing force of creation and destruction, the record of which is recorded in the bisque and glaze. My surfaces often play up and twist the sense of the clay as flesh, ranging from terra sig to a crackled glaze, while also harkening to more fossil and rock derived surfaces to give also a state of permanence. Through it all, I am exploring not only the whole of our shared mortality, but coming to terms with the idea of it all in concerns to myself. It’s all self-made fossils of contemplation in the fact that I too will someday be little more than dust, and these pieces are my remnants—my mummies to overcome it in some small way.
The first contemporary artist that inspired me both in medium and form was Kathy Venter and her Immersion series—terra cotta human forms suspended as though in water and in quiet depth. There is something uniquely unsettling and yet enthralling to see things so weighted suddenly proposed to be weightless and suspended in this dark, unseen water. My second major influence is another figurative ceramicist, Nan Smith, who creates more introverted and quiet situations with her female figures. They explore the intuitive, more introverted mentality of the woman, trying to find that inner moment of reflective silence.

Studio Update

It's been a few weeks since the whirlwind of the possibility of a studio in the Lowertown Arts District occured. That particular studio didn't work out due to ventiliation issues, and the possibility of clay dust particles mingling malignantly with the painters' paintings.

While I consented to not have the space, I will have to admit I was a little disheartened. I don't want to screw up anyone's art, but the opportunity for peer feedback was something I was looking forward to. I'm a fairly clean mudbug because of my own allergies, but, meh. I was peeved for all of five minutes, then I just sort of pouted to myself, and now I'm alright and moving on.

I need to get over this wishwashiness and assert myself, cause, art, ect.

But in my defense, it's looking like I'll have a studio at home pretty soon that will not be purely seasonal. Why pay for a studio, when I'll have a space for free in my backyard?

If I want my art to viewed, I just need to get out and start promoting it, and trying to get into shows. Juried Art Services is a really nice site for this. I already have an account there from when I applied for the Windgate Fellowship grant, and I get notices all the time about upcoming shows accepting entries, and because of the grant app, all my current work is present in good quality photos to just reassign and apply to.

My somewhat New Years resolution has been to be fearless, and it's what's gotten me exposed to the LT Arts District in the first place.

Hopefully things will continue to develop and blossom. I'm wanting to expand and get back into metalsmithing as well, and ideas of things to start making and experimenting with are getting me excited to start seeing what appeals to buyers.

We'll see!

Aster (cat, furry child who claims me) keeps distracting me by playing in a paper bag noisily. Must end it here. Will post a copy of my current Artist Statement just to have it up since that won't take me trying to think and type at the same time. Thank you, copy/paste.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Rarely do I write Poetry, But.

Poetry I've had in my head, I'll finally let out for shits and giggles. Please note these aren't necessarily auto-biographical, though events in the day might inspire the 'voice' speaking them. Be prepared for snark, brutal honestly, and so forth.

I.
The wad of hair you left
In the shower drain
Approaches my unguarded foot
Like a meandering,
great
shark.

II.
I once thought about
The shit for economy
And the lack of a place
For hungry souls like me.

I once thought about
Jumping off the side of
A bridge into the frothing
Waters by the dam,

Becoming One Voice
For the Placeless.
Then I remembered that
I am still afraid of heights.

Please forgive me,
O Hungry Souls,
I am still too vain
To speak for you.

III.
I'm writing
This poem
Two words
A time
Just to
Piss you
Off, dear.

IV.
That thread you've worried away at
With a dull pocket knife
is quite frankly,
Me.

>>More to come when I can stop fighting my wireless connection.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Studio Bebop

A LOT has happened in a very short amount of time. Even I'm still sort of dazed and overwhelmed. So, here is the breadth of it as far as I'm in understanding, and what's going on in my own mind over the matter:

The idea of heading out west to Seattle has been the most prominent idea in my mind since about August. This is mostly due to the fact that I want to end up at the university there, and I have lived with the notion that, if I want to do anything with my life that would let me continue to focus on my sculpture, there was no means or way to do so here in Kentucky. Lately, I've been frustrated with feeling the sensation that there's this big bell jar encasing me here, and all I could do up to now was bang against the sides of it saying 'I need out, I need out, I need out!'

There have been emotional and mental needs for this, things at home that weren't as smooth as they used to be, affecting my own drive and abilities to being a depressed cripple in a room that had made itself my prison. The opportunity to work in Seattle arose, but I didn't feel my heart in it. Rather, I think I was going through the motions just to find an avenue to get away. It wasn't what I wanted to do, if I'm honest with myself. And what I'm itching to make as soon as I'm about to spend hours on end outside, it still closely tied to my origins and location, here. In Seattle, the relevance and importance would be lost to me, and I'd be left with nothing but clay, and a want to go back on the farm and build in the creek. It was strange then, that after some correspondence with a possible supervisor that when the time came for her to call me to talk more about the position and do an informal interview, things kept popping up that ended up having her needing to reschedule. A meeting, ect. So that three days went by and I didn't get a call, the last two without even notification as to what was the stalling factor.

In the meantime, I had gone to Paducah yesterday to get out, cruise supply stores, pick up a packet to apply for substitute teaching, and was on my way home going the old way through the downtown area when quite literally a whim made me want to go through the Lower Town Arts District just to see if anything was open on a Friday afternoon, mild as it was. One was. I went in, noting that it was a jewellry gallery/store for an artistt who was currently out of town showing her work. The woman behind the counter struck up a conversation with me, and I found out she was a painter. We talked about what I'd gone to school for, the 'next step', and in the midst of this, she asked if I had a studio. I replied that I didn't, and was also needing to find a place to store some of my work so that it wouldn't be in danger of getting damaged... (Alas, poor Twinkletoes, I knew ye well.) She perked and said quite simply: 'Do you want one?' to which I rather profoundly stared in typical 'Huh?' fashion. I gave her my email and the like, just so she could get in contact with me as things were passed on, when three other people made their way in succession into the building and it built up into a 'What's so-and-so's number? I'll call him now, he can give you a tour of the place' and me scribbling directions and sort of standing baffled in the midst of all this like 'I just came here to look at the sparklies...?'

Eventually, I found myself standing in front of a house that one the side I learned led to the studio. A couple came out, found out what I was standing there for (they live in the upper flat) and they rather happily talked with me as I waited to meet up and be shown the space. Immediately, I have to say, that everyone's attitude was immensely welcoming and supportive, and I'm kind of startled by it, though as Meryl (? Sounds like Murl, I'm not sure. I need to look this up...) said as he showed me around, 'Well, that's what we try to do,' in taking care of people. We bonded over coffee. I'm tempted to go to Etcetera this afternoon and try out their selection, by the way.

I cried when I got home, mostly from the emotional upheaval and supreme randomness of the Seattle door looking stalled, and this one waving its hand going 'Uh, hello. Right here. See me yet?' And the sheer relief of it that I hadn't realized I would feel. There wasn't a glass bell at all. I just wasn't awake enough to see what I wanted was already here. It might stall my hopes of seeing Zoe Keating live in concert in the near future, but I could work with it.

I don't believe in coincidence. I take events that occur simply as that was the manner in which it has happened, and I need to clue in, balls up, and get with it because I'm being told something.

It was one of those instances.

I'm more awake today, more cautious. And, as with all things that seem to good to be true (I'm a pessimist, try to overlook it and love me anyway?), a wrench appears in the works when I get a call that the bit about clay=dust that we all sort of forgot (I'm used to it, is my excuse) means that particular studio might not work out due to ventilation of the house and the effect it might have on the paintings. But, he's said that he's talking to the other ceramicists in town about ventilation, what works, what they could do, and if that particular studio doesn't work out, he's bouncing my name around to see if I can land something else more fitting, maybe even with one of the other ceramicist.

My thoughts are boiled down to this:

Please don't let an open door like this be a tease.

Am I supposed to stay, or go?

I've only just been made aware of the LTAD, apparently I've had my head up my ass, but already the strong sense of community and want to help each other out is so extreme and so family-like that no matter what occurs, I'm wondering if this is a heads up to get involved in one fashion or another regardless to do what little I can to help it out.

Am I supposed to stay, or go?

And I could really, really use some coffee.

I'm mentally chewing a thumbnail over the whole situation, and trying to be realistic. What I want more than anything is to know what I'm supposed to do, but this is life, and we don't get a by-the-step book to our lives.

So that's pretty much it. You now know everything. All I can ask is that you send good thoughts/vibes/prayers/dances with pine branches and blue painted bodies ---... okay, that might just be fantasy, you get the idea... my way so that one way or another, I go where I'm needing to go.

Much love.

PS: Going to miss NCECA this year like a leg. If anyone goes, send pictures.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Because I Wanted

The thought of creating a blog or some manner of record concerning things I'm thinking about in regards to sculpture, art, ect has been haunting me since we had the visiting graduate students in the fall.

To make it short and sweet, this is where I'll probably be loading images that I find aesthetically pleasing, artists I'm looking to in appreciation/inspiration, and things that are going on that I really just want to think about.

Hopefully it'll be a helluva ride.